#poor Loretta

[livinginsunnyhell]

Loretta is such a misunderstood character, even by her own family. Just finished 4x14 & 4x15 and it’s so hard to get through all of the Loretta hating this season. I’m not sure it’s all deserved either. Like she had to be going through so much and at 17 with no support from anyone. Not to mention she 100% had post-partum. And then when Hayden comes back she is still so sad and triggered by it all. I don’t think what she did was right but I think it’s so sad that no one is there for her. Everytime Pascalle or Van went through anything emotional, especially in later seasons Loretta is there for them. It’s just sad that even when Loretta breaks down to Pascalle, she still doesn’t see how much Loretta has mourned her relationship with Hayden and is still dealing with the heart break of all that and then being forced into a pregnancy she didn’t want. It’s such a good storyline. And I definitely think when she came to tell Cheryl not to baptize Baby Jane that she did care. I think that’s been her problem. She cares too much and so she lashes out. She can barely stand to be around Jane not because she hates her, everyone thinks Loretta hates Jane, but I just think she scares her. And reminds her of Hayden and all of the shit that brings with it. It’s easier for her to simplify it to love and hate because she can’t deal with all the other messy bullshit. I definitely think after the show as Hayden and Loretta continue their married life, there’s a pregnancy scare. All this shit comes up again.

End rant.

[kissesandarsenic]

Day 7 - Cock Cage

Getting woken up at night by a sub due to their pitiful cries as they cling onto one of my arms. I might be a little annoyed, but the poor thing is so obviously distressed that I roll over to see what’s bothering them. 

They’re hurting, they say. I have an idea of what they’re talking about, but their embarrassment is so delicious so I play dumb.

With a pout, they nod down to their cock. Metal wire digs into the shaft, the skin there red and inflamed. It certainly looks painful. I decide to take pity and unlock them. 

Of course, that alone isn’t enough to sate a greedy toy. Now they want to touch their needy cock. To stroke and hump and rub.

Then, when that isn’t enough they want my touch. Then my mouth. And finally my cunt, warm and clenching around them. 

Maybe I’m in a good mood and allow it. I’m a sucker for pretty begging, and a couple of weeks caged has made them stellar at grovelling for my attention. So I’ll do what I can to make them feel good and revel in all the pretty noises they make for me. 

And then, when they’re right on the edge of finishing, the climax barrelling through them, I’ll pull off completely. Leave them to spurt out a dribble of cum onto their torso as they’re robbed of a satisfying release and left with a ruin. 

I know, I know. Miss is so mean. But good fuck toys aren’t meant to cum.

Maybe you’ll remember that next time before you wake me. 

Loretta and Salt's Kinktober Masterlist

[lorryicious]

What are Bill and Loretta? Friends? Lovers? Something in-between?

They are partners but both strictly deny it. Its definitely more of a fucked up secret third thing that involves being lovers and run away time criminals (poor Loretta got dragged into it because of Bill though)

BTW I gotta bring my ask blog back I loove talking about my gravity falls ocs they are SO my sillies

[icecoffee90]

The season 4 OMITB finale was SO GOOD! It had everything - it was emotional, it was suspensful, it was funny! Everything I love about the show tied into a perfect season finale.. 10/10!

I think it's only fair to begin with Sazz and her and Charles' friendship.

Just the opening scene, which doubled down on what we were shown in ep 4 already - Sazz keeping up a strong front and hiding her pain for Charles' benefit and it hit just as hard.

And of course, having been told throughout the season/series how much Sazz cared about Charles, her last words hit even harder!

Which brings me to Charles' reaction to the confession:

Man, oh man! How powerful was this scene!? I actually believe that (if Eva's device wasn't switched to the vibrator, lol) Charles would have killed him! I still have chills when rewatching the scene..

And I don't think anyone would blame him since Sazz (and Glen) basically died for nothing. Just so she wouldn't expose Rex for the fraud he is.

All this makes up for the killer being revealed in episode 9 already, too.

I loved that Jan turned out to have been staying in Charles' closet this whole time just waiting for them to solve the case! 😂

Of course, I can't leave out my beloved bromance, lol!

As always, Oliver was hilarious! (Wish I GIFed the dance on the ledge as well, but apparently I forgot, lol.)

Anyway, how great was it that Charles overcame his fear of heights to save Mabel!? 🥹 And he was about to go all the way from his apartment as well before Ollie suggested Vince's! Speaking of which, nice of the Westies to provide a ding-dong! 👍

Finally, the wedding! Like Oliver, I was worried something was about to happen to Loretta, but thankfully, everything went smoothly and it was just beautiful! 🙂

Mabel and Charles walking Oliver down the aisle? Perfection! Lol.

Also, when Howard was wheeling Winnie in, I thought it would have been great if Will was present, but I didn't think it was gonna happen.. And then I squeeled!

It was amazing to see both, Will and Dickie walking Loretta down the aisle! ☺️

Perhaps it's not ideal that Loretta will be in New Zealand, but I still count that as a happily ever after for them.

But what's most important, our trio is staying together!

Last but not least, poor Lester! 😔 Can't wait to find out what his death was about! Hopefully, unlike Sazz and Glen, he didn't didn't die for basically no reason! 🤞

Can't wait for what season 5 has in store! 👀

[pinazee]

Heres a few more random HC’s because i get bored at work!

TGWDLM

Paul has hiked every trail in hatchetfield. He once tried to get emma to go on a hike with him early in their relationship but when he showed up at her place at 5AM (not 5pm like she thought) she nearly ended it right there. Paul spent that day in absolute despair thinking that he ruined things with her but she texted him later and they hung out at a beach instead. He promised to never show up before 10am again- (unless he was sleeping over ;) -emma)

Bill Woodward and Mark Chasity have been in an unspoken feud for several years all because they both brought cinnamon rolls to a church bake sale and it got competitive. They, of course, were polite but would add small comments like, “oh adding orange zest was certainly an interesting choice,” and “wow, i love how large they are! Almost too large! Haha!” For years. Just petty comments.

Black Friday

Tom and Becky are karaoke royalty. It took some time for her to get used to people watching her for the right reasons again, but after tom coaxed her into singing the classic don’t go breaking my heart and receiving a standing ovation, that old cheerleader came right back out. Their most popular request is Lousiana Woman, Mississippi Man by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty as they really make it their own (tom seems like a country fan, but just the old stuff, everyone groaned at first but then they killed it).

Gary was a nerd his whole life but always managed to hang out with the popular kids and college students. He’d let them copy his homework, praise them endlessly, debase himself if he had to- all to be a part of the “right” crowd. Most of his clients are actually old “friends” that he charges up the ass (and i like to think, even if it doesn’t quite mesh with his personality, that he balances this out by doing a fair amount of pro bono).

NPMD

Ruth failed her drivers test twice because she’s too aggressive. Richie never tried, preferring to bike (and plans to move to chicago for college so why bother) Petes been able to drive since he was 13 because ted taught him in case he ever needed a designated driver (he was being responsible! What? You want him to drive drunk and hit some poor old woman just trying to cross the street at 3am?)

Detective shapiro (as a classic detective thriller trope) was secretly working on a cold case from chicago when she moved to hatchetfield. Its the one case that haunted her and forced her to seek refuge in a small island town. After the incident with max though, she finally dropped it, accepting that some things could never be explained. [And just for fun, she’s a fervent knitter. Im talking 2 full closets of just blankets ;) ]

Ruth has auditioned for the local theater 6 times, but they have no idea what she sounds like. They let her stand on stage for a minute, hand her a lollipop as they usher her off, and politely say “maybe next time, ruth.”

Richie was on a first name basis with the local comic book shop. When they heard of his murder, they put up a memorial for him with a display of (almost) all the manga he’d bought from them.

[locke-esque-monster]

I finished Umbrella Academy last night. The further I got into the season the messier the writing seemed to get. I've seen a few things pointed out already: like Lila totally wore bracelets before, why did Luther go chimp again, Five said Lila wasn't his type etc.. Here's a list I was compiling while I watched of things that didn't sit right or made no goddamn sense. It is by no means exhaustive (meaning that it's definitely not every issue, but definitely exhausting to write).

The whole reason Ben was killed was because he touched Jennifer. But Luther and Victor both touch "The Cleanse" during the department store scene. Luther gets stuck, but all it takes is Victor & Lila to get them out. Victor is pushed away by Ben just before he's shot. Were they both also infected and it didn't have time to stick? Or did the writers truly forget this was a plot point partway into the finale?

Quinn came in on the second meeting with Klaus's client Loretta saying "that was fast". They didn't call for him. They didn't give any indication they were done or that he should interrupt. So for all he knows, he should be walking in on them having sex. So is this poor writing in that they put in a statement that makes zero sense? Or poor writing in that they were watching Klaus "work" with surveillance camera and they just never explained that? (Which for the record that's even more screwed up.)

Speaking of which, did we just forget that Klaus has real issues with consent of his body (see season 2) and locked in small spaces with the dead (see season 1)? Or do the writers just not care and played it for laughs?

So we're down 4 episodes, but we're going to introduce 2 love triangles no one asked for (Sy, Jean, and Gene and Diego, Lila, Five)? Cool, that seems like a smart use of time.

After all the trouble Five has gone through, he's suddenly cool with changing the original timeline? Like no notes, no calculations - just down to mess things up by letting Ben live? Who are you Five? (The only calculations we saw from Five this season were a notebook he found another Five wrote - blasphemy.)

So Five is just going to conveniently find a notebook with a way out and we're never going to explain that?

Lila and Five spend 6 1/2 years searching for a way home, but Five's sad Lila picked Diego and he immediately stumbles into a Deli straight off an exit with all the Fives? And somehow that's not something he or Lila ever found?

Do the writers know how being buried alive works? Because first Klaus opened the coffin easily and then managed to accidentally fall in it and get it so stuck he couldn't get it open again. Incredibly implausible. But then wouldn't he run out of air eventually? Seems like he should have in the half a day he was in there. And I can't imagine the lighter would have been good for that situation (I'm not an expert, but any gas release, does it use air, etc.)

So Lila's family is cool with them missing for days? Claire too? I saw little to no attempt to check in, until it was convenient for the plot for Claire to say Klaus upset her when Allison calls. And multiple days seem to pass, but other than Klaus in his coffin and Ben in the hotel, there's no explanation where they slept, or that they really should be in contact with their families. And at least 2 nights pass for Ben (fight at the barn, hotel).

Ben kind of just turns into OG timeline! Ben around Jennifer. There's no explanation for his change in personality, even just that he was lonely without his family. But other than some vague "I can't stop thinking of her" there's no explanation of why they're so connected and Ben had a personality re-write. It gives us "magic made us fall in love" vibes.

I'm fully convinced that the elevator fight with Luther is a call back to CA:WS but TUA did not have either the money or the motivation to choreograph and film the fight scene, so they just waved their hands and said "close enough".

So we're just not going to explain how Five, who ostensibly is physically about 19 per canon, joined the CIA? And on top of that Five, arguably the sharpest, most paranoid character who took down the Commission in a single day in season 1, never checked into his boss or got suspicious about the CIA?

It's a 13 hour drive, but Klaus just magically got back to town on his own after ditching his family and it's never addressed? We've neither seen him drive and he doesn't seem to have a job to pay for a ride home, so I'm at a loss here. Admittedly, I'm not entirely clear how Allison got back to confront Klaus, unless she rode with Diego and Luther before their CIA trip? Though they also seems to have walked back from the CIA so I'm not sure how they got there either?

Okay, so I'll admit that Ben wouldn't necessarily know Reginald shot him. And I'm guessing Reginald wiped their memories quickly. And Ben's bullet would is less obvious in the back of the head. But you're telling me in the 15-ish years of hanging out together as each others' primary companion (12 in original timeline, 3 in the 60s), Klaus never made a dig about Ben's death? Ben never said something and Klaus repeated that weird statement from Reginald? Neither of them said anything weird about it the other one questioned? I swear that's why Klaus was written a whole separate plot with being kidnapped, so he specifically wasn't around for that scene to question or react to it. Also I'm pissed that it's very likely Klaus never knew how Ben died before he also died.

So after multiple episodes of (completely awful) jokes about Diego getting fat, you're going to actually make the character shirtless for no reason and him look exactly as he did before. I just...really?

Claire makes a comment when Allison first returns like "Why are you saving someone whose immortal?" Like what? First, okay let's assume Claire heard this about Klaus at some point (weird, but not impossible). Allison has been back for 5 minutes from the mission where Klaus got his powers back. Klaus didn't tell her. Allison didn't tell her on the phone call we saw or when she walked in. There is exactly zero reason Claire should have this information again.

Claire and Allison interrogate Quinn and all he tells them is pet cemetery. I'm concerned they don't know it's a dog or the dog's name, but I let it slide. Maybe they'll look for freshly dug holes. They're looking and they hear a dog bark to get them closer and they're like "OMG Thunderbolt". Like they're relieved they found the correct dog's grave when they have not actually been told that name before.

I'm not even going to unpack the mess that is Lila and Five here. Going to have to be a separate post.

(I will add that I'm not contesting the ending being on 8/8/24 when it should be 2025/2026 because if they've reset the timeline, the ending can really be whenever they feel like it. So I guess 1 point in the writers favor to the dozen and a half points I listed against them.)

[daydreamgoddess14]

I just wanted to say I absolutely adore your writing for River and thank you so much for providing us all with much needed River content!!

If you’re happy taking nsfw requests, I was wondering if you’d be up for writing a nsfw River x female!reader insert, where after a really shitty day, River wants to help make his girl feel good/take her mind off her day, by spending the evening going down on her? I mean… have you seen the guy’s mouth?! He’s always doing something with his tongue and I just think he’d look so pretty looking up at you from between your thighs… 🫣

If prompts would help… “I told you, you would eventually start begging.” “I can never seem to get enough of you.” and “that's it, babygirl.”

Zero pressure to do this btw!! I completely understand if isn’t something you’d want to write!

Bad Day

Phewwww, did someone turn up the heat? 🔥

I loved this ask sooo much, you all probably heard my furious tippy tapping as I immediately opened a new doc to write this 😅

I hope I've done your request justice, lovely Anon! Thank you so much for asking me, I'm so honoured 🥰

As above - River Cartwright x F!Reader Insert (no use of y/n, l/n) plenty of plenty of sexy fun - enjoy!

If you had to look at another spreadsheet, your brain would explode. You were certain of it. 

The poor cleaner. 

She wasn't cut out for bits of skull and pulpy brain matter. 

The pinchy, spiking shards of a headache were forming behind your eyes, you knew it was time to go home (even if it wasn't quite). The office was deathly quiet, everyone choosing to work from home on a Friday in order to enjoy their weekend just that little bit sooner. 

No one raised an objection when you started packing up. 

Close the laptop, wash your mug, pop to the loo, pack your stuff. 

The flurry of messages on your phone suggest River's not had a taxing afternoon, while your lack of response has him correctly guessing that it's been a shitty day. 

You fire off a quick on my way home message and drop your phone into the top of your bag, the glare isn't helping the headache.

The tube is typical Friday levels of horrific. Tourists descending by the train load, ready for a weekend of West End shows and sightseeing. 

The train lurching from side to side makes you queasy and in hindsight, you definitely should have drunk more water throughout the day. 

Climbing the stairs to the flat feels like climbing a mountain. 

God, you hope it's River's turn to cook. 

If it's not, you're getting straight on the phone to Loretta at the Italian round the corner.

The narrow hallway is pitch black when you push open the door, you sound like a bull in an antique shop trying to squeeze yourself, your laptop bag, handbag and coat through the door.

“Ugh, fucks sake,” you dump everything on the floor as soon as you're clear of the hall. “River?”

“In here,” you're about to follow the sound of his voice to the open plan kitchen living area when you spot the first candle, then the second.

There's a path of them lighting the way. 

Your heels click lightly on the hardwood floor as you approach. 

He's waiting - with a glass of wine - and after the day you've had, you could cry. 

He must see the wobble of your bottom lip because he puts the glass down and slips an arm around your waist. 

His large hand is flat on the small of your back as he pulls you towards him. 

“What happened?” He asks softly, his lips on your hairline. 

“Just too many meetings, too much going on. My head is pounding.” You sigh. It all seems fairly unimportant now that it's over. Fuss over nothing. River's hand travels down over the curve of your ass, poured into the tight pencil skirt. He squeezes lightly. 

“No dress down day for you. Have I told you how much I love this skirt?” The blush creeps from your cheeks down into the neckline of your shirt. 

The hard edge of the bad day is softening slowly. 

He offers his hand, knowing your next request like clockwork. You allow him to keep you steady while you kick off your heels, banishing them out of your sight. 

“Much better,” you murmur. 

The height difference is much greater now, it means you can bury your face into his chest.

The cotton of his t-shirt is warm and soft against your skin and his long arms wrap around you. 

You breathe in deeply. 

“I probably smell like Lamb's cigarette smoke.” You shake your head against him

“You smell like you. Like home.” You loosen your arms and look up at him. “You hungry? I'll call Lorie and get some pasta?” In the candlelight, there's a twinkle in his eye. 

“I'm definitely hungry, babe, but -”

“Not pasta? How about one of those giant calzones?” You go to move out of his arms but they tighten around you, keeping you close to him.

“Still not what I'm thinking,” his fingertips go to the high waist of your skirt, finding the hidden zip and sliding it down. 

While you're distracted by his hands, his mouth is finally on yours and he's walking you backwards towards the bedroom.

When the skirt slips to the floor, River's careful to guide you so you don't trip over it. 

“What're you up to, Cartwright?” You ask quietly, not moving your lips from his.

“Just trying to improve your shitty day.” His nose brushes against yours. 

“Haven't you had a rubbish one too?” You query, the backs of your knees bumping against the edge of the bed. He shrugs.

“I get to improve my day as well then, don't I?” 

With the lightest of pushes against your hip, you drop down onto the bed. 

“Arms up.” He instructs, pulling your blouse over your head. “And budge up a bit,” you shuffle obligingly up the bed and lie back contentedly against the heap of pillows.

“Don’t forget the candles,” you murmur as you feel his knee dip the bed between your own. His laugh makes you smile. “I’m serious, River. Do not burn down our flat.” He pinches his tongue between his teeth.

“Yeah ok. Make yourself comfortable,” he warns as he hops back off the bed.

“Why’s that?”

“Because I’m going to keep you there all night?” He poses it as a question but the smirk on his face suggests it’s definitely not up for negotiation.

“Oh,” the blush returns. 

He never fails to knock you off guard.

The candles, the adoration. 

It took a little while for him to grasp that you loved him, that you wanted to show him how loved he was.

Once it clicked with him though, there was no stopping him. 

He returns quickly, with a handful of the candles which he dots around the room, and your wine. He must have been home much earlier than you, he’s already dressed down in soft gym shorts and a plain t-shirt. His hair ruffled from the shower and still a little damp.

“Now that we’ve established I’m not going to burn the flat down,”

“It was kind of a priority.” You counter. 

His knee has found the gap between yours and he’s crawling up the bed to you. 

A predator trapping his prey. Though predator would not be the word you’d use to describe him at all currently. 

“Agreed,” he told you sincerely. “So now that’s sorted,” his hand snakes behind your back to unclasp your bra, “you should know that I intend to fully take your mind off your shitty day.” The headache is duller now, just being around him is working wonders in soothing you. 

“How do you propose to do that then?” You tease playfully.

He sits back on his heels, pulling the straps of your bra down your arms. 

With it discarded, he traps you again with one arm either side of your waist and his hands pinned to the bed. 

He leans into you, gazing intently at your tired eyes before kissing you gently.

“Just let me take care of you.” You melt into the kiss, your arms coming up to loop around his neck, trying to pull him down on top of you. 

He resists, keeping his weight on his hands which haven’t left the bed. 

The only move he makes is to run a finger down the side of your breast to your waist, tickling you into letting go of him. With a little huff, you acquiesce. 

He clearly has intentions and won’t be swayed. 

“Good girl.” He chuckles. Your thighs try to press together at the praise but his knee is in the way and feeling your legs tighten against him only makes him laugh more. 

He nudges your knees further apart and gets comfortable pressing firm kisses in a line from your throat down between your breasts.

“River -” you plead.

“Yes, love?” He looks up from your body, his annoyingly gorgeous smile perfectly framed by your pebbled nipples. “Oh,” they seem to distract him from what you were about to say and when he rolls his tongue around one of them, you forget what you were about to say. 

He doesn’t let you gather your thoughts, just continues to move down your body until he’s level with your plain black knickers. “You were saying?” He stops just as your back arches off the bed in an attempt to get closer to him.

“No idea. Please -” you whine, wiggling just a little.

“Please?” His breath ghosts over your core and it makes your cunt ache with wanting. “I think you can do better than that,” he nudges his nose against you, the cotton of your knickers providing the tiniest amount of friction on your clit.

“Ohh, River -”

“Yes, love?” 

“I need -” you breathe, wiggling a little more brazenly. 

He rests his chin on your thigh and looks up at you.

“Go on?” He asks with a wicked grin, earning him a glare from you in response.

“I want you.”

“I know, babe.” 

He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your knickers and tugs at them slowly. 

They slip down, millimeter by millimeter. 

“Tell me what you want?” 

Your patience may be wearing thin, but he’s enjoying every second of stringing you along. 

True to his word you’ve completely forgotten about your headache and your bad day. 

“I can never seem to get enough of you,” he tells you, his eyes not leaving yours. 

His warm hand pulls your underwear further down and guides your legs out of them. He’s managed to remove every item of your clothing without losing a single piece of his own. 

Watching you, the point of his tongue traces a circle around your throbbing clit. 

He hooks an arm over your thigh to hold you close to him.

“River… River please -” you sigh, desperate for more of his touch.

“Please what, babe?” If you were in any position to argue, you still probably wouldn’t. 

Impatient or not, he knows what he’s doing to you, and he knows how much you love it.

“God, River. I’ll kill you.”

“Nah, you won’t,” he sniggers. “I’ve got all night, you know? Don’t rush on my account.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“I know I can get you to beg, however long it takes.”

“You’re cruel.”

“That’s a bit harsh. Anyway, you’re distracting me, I’ve got something very important going on here,” without further warning, he presses the flat of his tongue against your slit and glides a path through your folds. 

“Fuck, River!” You shudder against him, “please, please -” he doesn’t respond, far too busy watching you writhe and arch under his grip as he fucks you with his tongue. 

When you finally open your eyes again, you meet his gaze and you can tell he’s not as unaffected as he makes out to be. You hold eye contact while you grind against his mouth, his own hips rutting into the bed in response as he hungrily devours you. 

You can’t hold out any longer, you’ll happily beg for more if that’s what he wants from you. 

“God, please River, please. I need you to fuck me,” 

He grins against you. “I told you you’d eventually start begging.” He buries his face back into your dripping cunt, building you up again until your legs shake and you’re pushed, wailing, over the edge.

“Oh, god -”

“That’s it, baby. Another.” It’s not a question, it’s a demand. 

Your hands tangle in his hair as he goes back to your overstimulated, swollen clit and wraps his lips around it, sucking gently. 

It’s enough to have you seeing stars. 

This time, he works two fingers inside you, pumping them languidly and letting them brush against your g-spot. So close to your first orgasm, the second doesn’t take long to approach.

“You’ve got it babe, let me make you feel good,” he coaches you softly as your thighs clamp around his hand. You’ve lost all ability to speak, his name tumbles from your lips in snatches and gasps as the walls of your cunt constrict around his long fingers. He lets you down gently, withdrawing his hand and mouth slowly when you finally unclench your legs. 

“That’s my girl,” he mutters, leaving as many kisses on the way back up the length of your body as he did on the way down. “You ok?” he asks, coming to lay next to you. 

You can feel the length of him pressed against your hip and, despite being exhausted, the thought of having his cock split you open is appealing. 

You shake your head a little, a hand shyly covering your eyes. “Don’t know,” you manage to croak.

“How’s the headache?” He kisses your temple.

“Gone,” you move your hand, not wanting to hide from him. “Thank you,” you whisper with a small grin.

“Anything for you.” He stretches his long body out, his own arousal still evident.

“Anything?” You ask, palming his hard cock through his shorts.

“And here I thought you’d have no energy left,” he groaned, rocking into your hand.  

“I can never seem to get enough of you,” you mimic his earlier words and roll onto him, up on to your knees. 

Your still soaked pussy leaves a damp patch on his shorts and the heat radiates from your core. 

You tug his shorts down and the length of him springs free. 

You mouth waters, and though you’d love to feel the weight of him on your tongue, you need him to fill you up. 

You line up against him, spread your knees wide and sink down onto him.

“Fucking hell, River,” your head tips back as your tight, hot cunt stretches around him.

“Fuck,” he bucks up into you, making you gasp. “When I die…”

“Shut up,” you laugh, leaning down to kiss him. You still taste yourself on his tongue and the flashback it triggers makes you grind down onto his cock. “Silly boy.”

“I’m serious, when I go, this is what I’ll be thinking about.” He sits up, filling you even more deeply. You pull his t-shirt off him and he holds you tightly against him. With no space between your bodies, the friction is divine. 

He doesn’t give you space to ride him but rolling your hips against him feels much closer to what you both need anyway. 

He rests his forehead against yours, his piercing blue eyes filled with love. You cup his cheek and kiss him.

“Come for me, love,” you whisper, feeling the muscles in his back tense. The hands that grip your hips hard enough to leave a mark move, and he brings his thumb to your mouth. You take it between your lips, leaving a trail of saliva behind when he takes it back and presses it to your clit.

“Not without you,” he rasps. You rock desperately into him, your own orgasm triggering as you feel him emptying into you. You slump against him, amazed he still has the strength to hold you both up. He doesn’t for long and pulls you down on top of him.

“Holy shit, River.” You pant breathlessly.

“You need talk.” 

You curl against him, the candlelight fading. Sleep is threatening to take you, but is interrupted by your rumbling stomach. 

“We should get some food.” You mutter sleepily into his chest. You try to snuggle in closer but he moves away, leaving you frowning. “Where’re you going?” He pulls on his t-shirt and shorts as the doorbell rings.

“Food. I called Loretta before you got home, asked her to send something over for about 8ish.” 

You stare after him as he leaves you with a quick wink. 

The boy really did know how to fix a bad day.

[shyloudpanda]

ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING SPOILERS!

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That was a trip! Marshall/Rex is a terrible person and I'm glad Charles got closure. Fucking Jan for the win though, right!! Wild!

Poor Lester. That hurt more than expected seeing him in the fountain.

OMG the wedding!! I got teary, both sons waked her down the aisle!! WINNIE!! Charles and Mabel walked him down the aisle!! John Hoffman officiated!!

Oliver was hot, all happy like and wearing that soft lavender. UGH! Why was he taller than her? LOL My mom was sad because Loretta was leaving right away. She'll be back, or he'll go there. They'll be together again.

Next season is gonna be wild.

[onlymurdersintheafterparty]

OMITB S4:E8 "Lifeboat"

This episode was really interesting. More questions answered and even more created now that we know what went on with the Westies. Given all the theories out there the ending wasn't too surprising but I do wonder how all of this will be explained in the final episode. At this point I don't have many theories left I'm just waiting on the denouement. All in all I enjoyed it. Spoilers ahead!

I can't believe Dudenoff's death was that simple. I'm not even going to lie I just found the whole thing so sad. He was lonely and grieving his wife and then created a found family that he loved so much he wanted to protect them even in death. Poor Helga who was so scared and convinced that someone did something to him. What I don't understand though is why they called her the wrong kind of Westie and scratched her face out in the picture. They acted like she was a villain or something when all she was trying to do was figure out what happened to Dudenoff. There was a theory on the subreddit that Helga was the one giving Sazz information and now it's confirmed so this is a new turn of events. I'm with Mabel on not ratting them out but with Dudenoff confirmed to be dead how are they going to continue this rent scheme? The police know so the jig is up. Or is this reveal just so that the trio would sympathize with them and not rat them out to the police?

Glen being the stuntman that Sazz was referring to still feels like a red herring to me. We know that he is mentally unwell because of the hallucinated rats but I still don't think he's our killer. I'm thinking Glen is part of the group that killed Sazz and the mastermind shot him to keep him from confessing or it's as simple as the common theory that Marshall is the killer and shot him because he recognized him outside of his disguise. With Glen being in a coma we probably won't learn either outcome until the season finale or the very end of the next episode. Sazz said that this stuntman messed up badly and would be the death of her. She's dead and he's in a coma so she was right but the fact that he was shot means that some sort of cover up is in place for whatever it is that he did and whoever else knows it.

The Westies showing up and waving a knife and everyone just going along with it is so wild to me. It was 6 against 5 and I know Rudy is fit but surely they could have still held their own. It makes sense they didn't react though because they needed the confession. Rudy doing the entire monologue and everyone progressively getting emotionally drained was so funny. Zach has had the funniest quotes this season and I hope someone does a video edit including them all.

Charles really needs therapy when the case is solved because the way he's unraveling and doesn't even know how to process his anger is so sad to watch. Eugene better be careful what he wishes for because when Charles fully snaps and lets all his anger out it's not going to be pretty. I wouldn't be surprised if upon learning who killed Sazz he attacks them (not fatally) and has a full breakdown.

Every week I see the same theory that Loretta will die and I'm starting to get scared this may actually happen. I get them being sentimental about The Arconia but it's full of so much death I can't believe that they would plan their wedding there. Oliver has lost so much and Charles just lost his best friend so do you think the writers will really go there? Maybe it will be a bridesmaid or someone else in the bridal or groom party who is killed. I just feel like instead of killing her off they can just write out her character by saying that she and Oliver travel back and forth to see each other and that explains why she's not onscreen. They've been making it work now so no need to take such a dark route.

I'm so excited for the last two episodes and to see how this all plays out. The Westies never confirmed that it was them sending the letters or bugging the apartments so the mastermind is still out there waiting. This also means that there must be another murder that has gone unnoticed. On a recent youtube video, Matt & Jess TV mentioned Charles' quote in the pilot about the bodies buried in the back of a 14 story building as well as Marv mentioning the Sixth Street Slasher so it looks like there's still a cold case to solve.

And to wrap this all up I just have one question: WHERE IS THEO?

[deeneedsaname]

OKAY PEOPLE RECAP TIME!!!

This episode had *basically* everything. Let’s count em down!

For one, this episode was hilarious. All of them are, but with such ha star-studded, talented cast, this episode really shines.

Mabel is so done with everything, with everyone. My poor girl needs a nap.

Charles and his sister’s dialogue felt so realistic and accurate, and it was so cute! “Can we just blame it on mom?”

TROPES! OLIVER AND LORETTA!!! We got SO MANY famous tropes with them!!! It was all so dramatic and adorable, and very much brought me back to other sitcoms I’ve seen with misunderstandings and lying etc.

Loretta fighting Charles’ sister??? And I LOVE her reaction “I fought a woman AND I WON!” It’s so in character for Loretta it just is

A DAMN PROPOSAL!!!! IT WAS SO CUTE!!!! My heart rate this whole episode was worse than Oliver’s during season 3, but their acceptance of each other being crazy, their unabashed love for each other and her proposing to him are all SO SO CUTE???? (Also this episode does soothe my fears a little that they won’t do some weird “happy” breakup type thing where they separate so she can be in Hollywood and they’re glad to have been in each other’s lives etc, I eel like they hopefully won’t do that now but etc a post for another day and not at one in the morning)

Also Oliver being all giddy is just. My previous boy i love him so much

THE TRIO IN PAJAMAS!!! In what I am already predicting will be underrated is the fact that we get to see them all in their cute robes!!! I love my murder babies so much!!!

THE ACTORS WEREN’T ANNOYING!!! For the first time!!! It was actually a really good moment, and harkens back to season 1 when they had their fans help them solve the case, and I’m glad the show hasn’t lost this message - no one group of people is going to be perfect at solving a case, and it is *always* important to get outside perspectives!

SEASON 1 STUFF! The note on Jan’s door, Winnie, everything!! Is it possible the westies were being everything??? It can’t be, right? This is usually the point in the season where we get closer, but not to the final true killer yet.

Finally, a happy ending for the ep! Look at them all on the boat!

All in all this was an amazing episode and I am going to go an pass out because that was a LOT.

[sacredhyacinth]

sorry for the yapping lately but here’s bm’s official playlist IF it did get a series :0

1: in love with the moon by peppermint ollie

I LOVE LOVE LOVEEE this song and it also helped me write a ton of gabriel/Loretta’s conflict, also how I think mel/amara think about eachother

2: duvet by boa

3: christmas kids by roar i

I feel like this is the official anthem of the bm universe at this point

4: I wanna by yours by artic monkey

mina and raquel coded stuff PLUS I really like it and it flows really well with the whole theme and vibe of BM

5: teenage dirtbag by wheatus

yeah YEAH I KNOW

6: Clarence theme song

7: little fang by Avery Tate I LOVE YOU

8: blue hair by tv girl

pronouns

9: using you by mars argo

10: angry by mars argo

11: any song by mars argo

12: carino by the marias

13: from the start laufey and specifically the goodkid cover

14: es by crying

15: me and my husband by mitski

DUH

16: becky by be your own pet

we have to stand up for the national anthem

17: still feel by half alive

18: for elise by saint motel

poor Elise her screen time is so low nowadays

19: animal by sir chloe

20: cooties by Melanie Martinez

21: aristocrat by poppy

22: American kids by poppy

23: money by poppy

24: existential crisis hour by kilo kush

25: fell in love with a girl by the white stripes

never let Gabriel get the aux cord

[kissesandarsenic]

Hiii miss Loretta... i was wondering if you could write something about fucking and praising a puppy sub until his brain goes blank? I really really loved ur last responses <33 (i wouldn't quite mind a task either...) -🐾

(For the task, go to a mirror, strip completely naked and stare into your eyes with your tongue out. Stay like that until you begin to drool, then use that to pleasure yourself. Or simply stay in that position, touching until you reach an edge.)

Hm, the decision here is whether I want to ride a puppy sub or fuck them with my strap. I haven't written about the latter, so I think I'll go with that.

Thinking of a cute puppy that's had a long and stressful day and wants to turn his brain off for a while. So he comes to me, all shy and needy, looking at me with the biggest, saddest eyes. Who am I to say no to the poor thing?

I'd lay him down on his back, cooing all the while at how flustered even this makes him. I'm sure he'd try to hide his face but I'm not letting that happen. I wanna see every cute expression that flitters across his face as I fuck him into the mattress.

Of course, I'll be loving and doting. He's adorable and makes the cutest little noises when I angle my hips just right. I'll have pinned his arms above his head so he can't squirm away from me as I tell him what a pretty toy he is. How his noises are utterly precious and that his picture should be framed and hung in a museum.

And when his eyes start to lose focus, those pesky thoughts draining as he's fucked dumb on my cock, I'll press a kiss to his brow and fuck him even harder.

[mfjenks]

ok, i'm game now Some theories and predictions after episode 4: -it is too often implied that the murderer is a woman, so i'm pretty sure that the murderer is a man. My top of suspects at the moment is something like: 1. Cliff, with his mother aware of his crime and covering him (i'm not sure whether it's a great addition to the whole parend-child storyline or a bit hackneyed as it has some parallels with Teddy&Theo story). May had an affair with Ben, may commit it to impress his mother and create something his own *Donna killing Ben in order to protect her son is also more than possible, it ruins the idea of "the say it's a woman so it's a man", but quite fits 2. Dickie - (crime of passion because of Ben eating cookies) any reason??? 3. Jonathan. Well, he was his understudy, sounds like a motive. OR maybe he tried to kill him for the first time, but he wasn't his killer after all 4. Tobert. Well, I think that they won't do the main hero's love interest the killer again, but if they do, he is kinda creepy and it's more likely to be him than Joy (who has already became a prime suspect) or Loretta Howard is cute in his own strange way, i don't believe it's Howard -The person who poisoned him and the person who was the reason he fell into the elevator shaft are two different people???? -I 1000% agree with the theory that Ben was speaking to cookies -In the first season it was Mabel's childhood friend who was killed and the story from their past, in the 2nd season Charles' father was on the painting, so the mystery is somehow connected to Oliver's past as he's already portrayed as the leading part in this season (but maybe his previous theatrical failures and his worries about the show is already such point, still there will be more flashbacks) -Poor Oliver will have a heart attack at the most inappropriate moment, probably in front of Mabel and Charles, making them, Will and all of us experience our own heart attack. Probably as a cliffhanger. I think in the episode 7 or 8. He lives, of course, but I'm ready to cry my eyes out -And creates the idea of final banger of the show (or thinks about killer's identity. or both) during clinical death. In the episode with his narration and some flashbacks. Creates another chaotic masterpiece and continues his work on the show almost immediately. Maybe agrees (with the face full of sorrow and whining) to quit dips if Will asks but never gives up on show and investigation. Then constantly boasts about his "death" like one of his acquaintances and says Ben beaten him. It's the most Oliver Putnam thing ever -I HATE the theory of Charles murdering Ben being in the white room and I'm sure it won't be true BUT this theory may be mentioned in the show. Like they'll finally find out it's not true, but suspect it at some point, Charles is not sure if he actually hasn't kill Ben, and maybe it will in some way be the thing that triggers Oliver's heart attack???? -I actually like the theory of Loretta being Dickie's mother, especially after the look he gave her at Look for the light. She's not a murderer, but the prime suspect for one or two episodes -Joy is also obviously pretty innocent, but Charles and her break up -Final episode will be more like season 2 than season 1: the true murder will be revealed only in the last ep. during another scene with Poirot-like false accusations. According to the trailer, with detective Williams there in the theatre, but maybe this takes place a bit earlier and the true killer revealed in another scene -Murderer reveal party is paralleled to and shown together with the episodes from the musical -This Mabel's wedding scene is either season 4 flashforward or staging used to reveal the murderer. I'd like to see the Theo as at least fake husband, but i think it will be Tobert. MAYBE the wedding will be aimed to expose Tobert himself, but I still believe he's too obvious to be the killer -Oliver and Loretta break up, but on a happy note grateful to each other, and Loretta finally goes to "take Hollywood by storm" after the show

(and Oliver and Charles end up together) -Mabel finishes podcast and then takes Cinda's job offer and moves out, still mantaining cute relationship with her old boys well it was a lot….

[siderealscribblings]

"À ta santé!" Glasses and mugs clinked together over the worn, scratched up table in the corner of The Bell and Buckler. The local band was enjoying their complimentary mugs of Mondstadtian wine a little too much and as the warm buzz of alcohol tinged the back of Eponine's throat, she could hear them start to warble out of key. 

Gardes from all over the city favored The Bell and Buckler, not only because servicepeople coming off shift got one round on the house. It was a rustic, cozy tavern run by Loretta, a former musketeer that hung up her spurs after a vishap gnawed her leg off below the knee. Even now, she could be heard thunking behind the bar with her hardwood peg-leg, her old service musket hanging above the bar next to the skull of the vishap that ended her career. 

"A toast!" Marius wobbled to his feet, tugging his garde uniform down and raising his glass somewhat theatrically. "To Miss Eponine who somehow managed to survive her first week on patrol as a member of the esteemed Maison Gardiennage!"

"Hear hear!" A ruddy-faced musketeer named Fantine giggled, thumping her mug on the table. 

"Enough!" Eponine laughed, hiding her eyes behind her hand as Marius made the unsteady climb up on top of one of the barstools. Fortunately The Bell and Buckle was the sort of establishment where inebriated gardes climbing on furniture was nothing out of the ordinary. Barely anyone looked up from their cards or dart games as Marius launched into a speech that could barely be heard over the din of conversation. 

"Our beloved Lady Furina is safe from all manner of capitol terrors!" Marius proclaimed, spilling some foam into his bowl of stew as he raised his tankard. "Including runaway poodles, misguided tourists, and clingy little aristocrats!" 

"Off the chair!" Loretta shouted, turning a nozzle of cold tap water on Marius and knocking him flat on the floor. "Or I'll call the garde on you!" 

"The garde's already here!" A patron called, drawing a roar of laughter from the half-dressed Maison Gardiennage agents packed into booths and crowded around billiards tables. 

"I'll call the Iudex then!" Loretta countered, grinning as a dreaded ooh wafted through the crowd. "Miss, I hope you've an iron liver if you plan on drinking with these two." 

"I think my liver will be fine," Eponine chuckled, unable to be too embarrassed. Here she was, barely twenty-five and already appointed to the Maison Gardiennage. Poor girls from Possion could scarcely dream of more and with the money she was making, she would be able to send for her sisters before the year was out.  She had plenty to celebrate and if her new co-workers got a little rowdy celebrating, who was she to stop them? 

"So," Fantine said, leaning on her palm as she turned her attention to Eponine. "How do you find the Court so far?" 

"Oh, it's…big," Eponine said, causing Fantine to snort into her cider. The collection of well-worn wooden cottages that comprised her hometown was nothing compared to the towering spires of the Court of Fontaine. It was one of the last Great Cities that hadn't been obliterated in the Calamity or the ensuing chaos and history hung in the air like mist. She had never felt like more of a bumpkin in her entire life; surely she must've looked like an idiot gaping at everything. 

"You will get lost, but one of the little anklebiters will set you right if you ask them," Fantine said. "The melusine know their way around better than almost anyone these days." 

"A little too well," Marius muttered. "If you ask me-" 

"Oh here we go," Fantine sighed. 

"All I'm saying is that our little fuzzy 'friends' know a lot about a lot of things," Marius said, holding his hands up. "Enough to do damage if they wanted to." 

"The melusine?" Eponine asked. "What damage could they do?" 

"I dunno," Marius said, wrinkling his nose. "They're creepy though." 

"Marius also finds stuffed seahorses and teddy bears creepy ," Fantine sighed, flicking a wadded up napkin at Marius.

"Th-they've got weird eyes!" Marius hissed defensively. "And I swear sometimes I catch one just talking to someone I can't see. Who knows what information they could be carrying out of the-mmph ?" 

"Enough ," Fantine said, stuffing a bread-roll in Marius' mouth. "We didn't bring our new recruit out here to listen to your melusine conspiracy theories; we need to hear her ruling." 

"My ruling ?" Eponine said, watching Fantine and Marius exchange conspiratorial looks. 

"You've been patrolling the Palais and the Opera for a week now," Marius said through a mouth of crumbs. "And in that time, you've seen Lady Furina and the Iudex come and go. Have you had the opportunity to see them…together?" 

Together? Eponine shrugged. "Lady Furina and the Iudex had lunch together yesterday; I can't say I spent too much time with them, but I guess I saw them chatting a little bit." 

Eponine had nearly fainted as she looked up one day to find her nation's god passing by her on the way into the Iudex's office to take her mid-day meal on the terrace overlooking the lake outside his office. She had spent the rest of the day wide eyed and almost vibrating with excitement, so close to divinity that she could still remember the smell of Lady Furina’s perfume. 

"They're always chatting," Marius said with a meaningful nod. 

"Always," Fantine nodded. 

"...yyyyyyyes, I would think the head of our country and her number two would stay in close touch," Eponine said, nodding a little uncertainly. 

"Verrrrrry close touch," Marius said, leaning in and dropping his voice. "So…do you think they're lovers?" 

Read More...

[hopelesslygeek]

Random thoughts on 4x04

-absolutely love jealous Oliver ngl, Loretta literally has 8 followers and is only following 1 person, yet he's in full panic mode (we've all been there, be honest)

-Howard is slowly but surely creating a small farm and I love that for him

-PAUL RUDD IS BACK (with a quite offensive Irish accent) AND HE'S COMPLETELY UNHINGED

-the fact that the flyer for the auditions came through the door the exact time when Howard was guarding Mabel's apartment is very SUSPISH

-the penthouse is redecorated once more and either Bev Melon or the Brothers sisters are living in it which is also SUSPISH

-Charles: I want to get information from that woman

Also Charles: I'm going to insult her and her profession

-when Oliver said that he fails at everything it broke me, poor baby he's struggling

-I can buy the Westies' subletting explanation but why would Dudenoff randomly do that and why is he sending them all that ham (you guessed it, SUSPISH)

-APHRODITE (the car) IS BACK

-Why the fuck is Bev Melon there, why has she got a gun and why is she pointing it at the trio

[bcolfanfic]

No idea if you are still taking requests, but if you are, ch5/Gale POV for All Again please! I need more of his reaction to John and Loretta napping (which was just so so so sweet)

lmao poor gale wants to go in the bathroom and have a little private internal freakout after that gives him such Big feelings. missed john so much. loves seeing him with his kiddo. *and* still misses his wife terribly and feels so much guilt stilling around his stomach for feeling the slightest bit content without her there. i think the last blurb i posted from the upcoming chapter is where he tells john he told marge about the two of them, and wonders sometimes if her at the time telling him she'd take it to her grave =s that her getting sick was some sort of twisted punishment she got on his behalf.

there's a part in the upcoming chapter where john comes into gale's room when he's reading and in my quest to find some sort of queer coded book he might've owned back then i landed on this.

Reading: “The Dog Star” by Donald Windham – Foster Dickson

“Beneath the chinaberry tree at the school, on the wide rolling clay earth scattered with fallen berries, he had thought himself homesick. But now he felt as though the place he wanted to be no longer existed in the world.”

</3 oh gale.